Dating for married people in
”Maybe I was being too pragmatic about issues that are loaded with guilt, resentment and fear.
After all, it’s far easier to talk theoretically about marriage than to navigate it.
I don’t want to be afraid of talking honestly about my sex life with the man I’m married to, and that includes being able to at least raise the subject of sex outside of marriage.”“Good luck with that!
” he said.“We go into marriage assuming we’ll be monogamous,” I said, “but then we get restless.
I know I did, which is what led me down this path of illicit encounters.
But the other husbands I met would have preferred to be having sex with their wives. I know what it feels like to go off sex, and I know what it’s like to want more than my partner.”I never convinced any husband that he could be honest about what he was doing.But they were mostly good-natured about it, like a patient father responding to a child who keeps asking, “Why, why, why?This is dicey because you can’t always control emotional attachments when body chemicals mix, but with the married men I guessed that the fact that they had wives, children and mortgages would keep them from going overboard with their affections. They didn’t get overly attached, and neither did I. In a couple of cases, the men I met were married to women who had become disabled and could no longer be sexual, but the husbands remained devoted to them.All told I communicated with maybe a dozen men during that time in my life, and had sex with fewer than half.